What single event can do more damage to family harmony than a nasty divorce? A will contest or estate dispute can be one of the worst legal, emotional and financial nightmares that a family encounters. When someone in a family contests the validity of a loved one’s will, what inevitably follows is a protracted litigation, as well as an emotional toll that can tear a family apart. Estate disputes often last many years, and usually no one wins except the lawyers. But with some advance planning and family communication, the potential for a bitter legal battle often can be avoided or at least minimized.

Open communication with your children and clarity about the decisions you are making about your estate are some of the keys to avoiding a future dispute. Most parents tend to keep their finances and estate plans a secret from their children. However, if your family understands your decisions and why you are making them, they may be less likely to argue about them once you are gone. Questions and conflicts that might arise later are easier to plan around if acknowledged and addressed upfront. In addition, certain basic estate planning tools can be used to head off many of the typical problems that lead to litigation.

In my practice I have noticed certain specific situations that frequently cause conflict after the death of a parent or loved one.

• Second marriage situations. No surprises here — blended families are often synonymous with conflict. Litigation typically arises when bad estate planning results in everything being left to a surviving spouse, effectively disinheriting children from prior marriages. However, these situations are the easiest to recognize in advance and plan around using trusts and other planning techniques. Be wary of tax planning advice that fails to take the family dynamic into account.
• Disinheriting a child or favoring one child over another. In Georgia, there is little statutory protection for disinherited children. However, while disparate treatment of children is not grounds for a successful will contest, feelings will be hurt, and a will contest will often follow, tying your estate and loved ones up in court for years to come. Consider the emotional effect of dividing your primary assets unequally among children who tend to equate the division of inheritance with the equality of their parents’ love for them. If you have good reason for leaving an unequal amount to a child — for example one who might be the caretaker for ill or aging parents — communicate your decision openly with all of your children.
• Division of personal property. Regardless of estate size, the biggest family fights are often are often over personal and sentimental property. I have seen families litigate for years and spend thousands in attorney’s fees over items of little monetary value. Add a mechanism for division in your will or spell out who gets the property you know could cause problems. You can even ask your children to tag items they might wish to have and, when appropriate, give things to your heirs during your lifetime. Don’t give one child authority to make all the decisions.

Discuss your goal of maintaining family harmony with your financial planner or estate attorney. They can help you uncover potential landmines during the planning process. If you update your will, be sure to review all of your insurance policies and retirement plans to ensure that the correct recipients are designated.

Ironically, only 17% of Americans 50 and older have a will, a durable power of attorney, and a living trust, according to the AARP. Don’t put off the necessary planning. Be sure you provide your loved ones with the tools to handle your estate properly and without conflict. Communicate openly, plan ahead, and allow your family to keep the peace for years to come. Don’t let a long estate dispute be your legacy.